Lies And Lipstick

I have never been a patient person. I’m use to getting what I want. I am very spoiled. Plus I feel like in my adult life I have worked hard. I waited 2 years for an opportunity after college and I somewhat got it. I worked at NBC might return and I work at a radio station but if I went in detail about what exactly is going on then some of you will understand why I’m so frustrated and unhappy. I’m 24 and I’m suppose to be at a certain level at this age and I’m not. Some of my friends are at this level but I’m making slow baby steps. I know things happen on God’s timing and that’s hes developing me for something bigger and that what I’m doing now is preparing me but I cant help but wonder am I on the right path? Am I doing the right thing? I am grateful that I have made noticeable progress from last year but its not enough. I don’t want it all, I just want to be secure and happy in my situation. I want to be 100% and right now I’m about 40%. I feel like my dream is slipping away and I don’t know what to do or how to solve the issue I’m dealing with.

Hello All. The guy I was crazy about for the past 2 months who I thought had mutual feelings told me yesterday after asking me where I was at and wanting to see me “you want a man, I’m just chilling” Which is true I do want a man aka a boyfriend but by judging by his affection towards me and all his marriage and children talk I thought he would want the same thing! He’s 32… how much chilling can one do. I think he’s on the fence because I text him like crazy and that I am a little crazy but he should be jumping fences for me. Im a GREAT catch. I was heart broken but its a familiar feelings. All I can do is leave him alone. Let him chill. I need to focus on myself, work harder in my career and FINALLY MOVE! Who knows if I’ll ever talk or see him again…. Im just turning my radar off for now, I don’t want to catch or try to transmit any of his signals. 

It’s May, a new month which means a new beginning. Im in a better position then I was in last May (2011). I feel great about where Im heading. Of course I wish things would happen faster but its all on God’s timing. He is the director in my life and with him I will accomplish anything. Ive had some great opportunties this year, working on a televsion show, now working at a radio station. In the love department well that hasnt warmed up or got exciting. I lust but nothing REAL comes from it. I have to be patient and let GOD reveal my husband to me. Im no longer chasing anyone Im tired of that, whoever wants to be in my life will make an effort to show that. I have to focus on myself and my career and improve my relationship with God. Other then that the season is changing and so am I, to a new and improved me!